EXT. STREETS -- NIGHT

               Rain splashes down from the skies as a single foot smashing 
               into a puddle, splashing the water around and blurring the 
               frame.  Heavy breathing is heard as MIDUS STEELE runs down 
               the alleyways.  He's been beaten and bloodied.  His eyes 
               suddenly go wide as the frame stops.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         That's me.  Midus Steele.  But this 
                         never happened.

               The action picks up again as MIDUS hits a wall just off 
               screen, and he falls to the floor.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         Are you interested in my life yet?

               INT. MIDUS' HOME -- MORNING

               Dishes lay uncleaned as tons of paperwork seems to have piled 
               up.  MIDUS STEELE, 14 and sarcastic, walks down the steps of 
               the apartment, almost knocking over a pile as he does.  He 
               catches the pages before they topple over.  His mother, late 
               thirties with reading glasses and a stare that would only 
               come after ten coffees and an all nighter, looked at her 
               son.

                                     MIDUS' MOTHER
                         Midus.  Son, are you ready for your 
                         first day of high school?

                                     MIDUS
                         Not really.  I've got a lot of things 
                         to do today.  I've got that bank to 
                         rob and then tv.  Lots of daytime 
                         tv.  Where else can I watch Game 
                         Shows?

                                     MIDUS' MOTHER
                         Midus.

                                     MIDUS
                         Yeah, I know, the game show network...
                              (pause)
                         Fine.  Just, Can I get a ride?

                                     MIDUS' MOTHER
                         Sure.

                                     MIDUS
                         Great.  Pick me up in front of the 
                         bank.

               Midus goes to leave, but MIDUS' MOTHER clears her throat.

                                     MIDUS' MOTHER
                         Eat some breakfast before you go.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         2.


               MIDUS rolls his eyes, and grabs a cereal bar.

               EXT. MIDUS' HOME -- MORNING

               MIDUS walks out of his house, looks at the cereal bar, and 
               throws is to his side over the fence into the neighbors yard.  
               He sees JACKSON, a 14 year old with no sense of boundaries, 
               and catches Jackson's stride.

                                     JACKSON
                         I'm gonna start a band.  You in?

                                     MIDUS
                         Don't you have to play an instrument?

                                     JACKSON
                         Silly Midus.  You obviously haven't 
                         been listening to the Radio much 
                         lately.

               EXT. SCHOOL -- DAY

               The High School is displayed in all it's glory as a voice 
               over plays over the shots to establish the setting and some 
               classmates.  MIDUS and JACKSON walk into frame and we follow 
               them walking around the school grounds, running into their 
               future class mates.  EDDIE SCOTT POSER is forcing MARK to 
               juggle dangerous objects.  JACK HARMEN is standing in front 
               of a large snow cone machine, while JOEY MALONE floats in 
               mid-air.  

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         So, welcome to my life.  I'm Midus 
                         Steele, and I've lived in the same 
                         area for the past ten years of my 
                         life.  Anything before that is a bit 
                         of a haze.  You know, since Time has 
                         the ability of destroying the past.

               INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- DAY

               MIDUS and JACKSON enter the school hallways. 

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         I'm quite nervous, the whole first 
                         day syndrome running rampant through 
                         my mind.  Hence my internal monologue 
                         displayed for all to see.  Which is 
                         never a good thing, considering my 
                         imagination is rooted in lunacy, 
                         running rampant like a locomotive 
                         that... runs rampant.  Although I 
                         try to control myself.  Keep my mind 
                         to a task, unless I'm bored... 
                         tired... eating or awake.

               ALICIA RENNER, NICOLE LARSON & LUCY SCOTT are in their 
               cheerleader's outfits, practicing a few cheers as NICOLE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         3.


               doesn't seem interested.  JACKSON checks ALICIA RENNER out 
               as they pass.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         That's my best friend Jackson. We've 
                         been close ever since Elementary 
                         school. In fact, I doubt we've ever 
                         had a class where the other one wasn't 
                         present. Luckily, our schedules are 
                         the same this year, but I've heard 
                         horror stories about high school, 
                         where people get different classes 
                         than their friends. Meet new people? 
                         Pfft. If I wanted to do that, I'd 
                         get addicted to something and go to 
                         it's Anonymous meeting.

               INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM -- DAY

               MIDUS and JACKSON walk into the classroom, and look at the 
               name tags on the desks to find their seat.  MIDUS is the 
               first to be successful, so JACKSON sits next to him.

                                     MIDUS
                         How come I doubt that's your seat?

                                     JACKSON
                         Probably because it's...

               JACKSON checks the name listed.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         Valerie McKierson.

                                     MIDUS
                         You don't have the chest to pull 
                         that off convincingly.

               JACKSON covers his chest.

                                     JACKSON
                         Stop Looking at them!  
                              (pause)
                         I'm thinking about surgery.

                                     VAL
                         Hopefully it's some sort of lobotamy.

                                     JACKSON
                         Funny... Funny.  
                              (to Midus)
                         She's funny.  
                              (to Val)
                         You're funny.

                                     VAL
                         You're in my seat.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         4.


                                     JACKSON
                         Oh no, see, this isn't your seat 
                         anymore.  This is my seat now.  THIS.

               He pats his own lap.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         ...has been deemed your new seat.

               JACKSON winks at her.  VAL gives MIDUS a look.

                                     MIDUS
                         Don't look at me.  I can't explain 
                         him.  The only thing I got is that 
                         he's stupidier than a chimp.

                                     JACKSON
                         I told you, that chimp cheated!

               INT. OTHER SCHOOL CLASSROOM -- AFTERNOON

               JACKSON and a CHIMP are doing a timed test. A TEACHER sits 
               at the front of the classroom and a bell goes off.

                                     TEACHER
                         Time's up, Pencil's Down.

               The teacher walks over and grabs Jackson and the chimp's 
               test.

                                     TEACHER (CONT'D)
                         Uhmmm... Jackson? The only thing you 
                         wrote on this page is, and I quote, 
                         "That mini-skirt would look hot on 
                         my floor.  I'd..."

               She trails off reading.

                                     TEACHER (CONT'D)
                         I'm not quoting anymore, but the 
                         paper is then filled with explitives.  

               The Teacher looks almost disgusted. Jackson shrugs his 
               shoulders.

                                     JACKSON
                         Yeah.  That's half my vocabulary.

               The chimp starts going on a rampage.

                                     TEACHER
                         I'm sorry, but since you didn't write 
                         down your name or answer any of the 
                         provided questions, I'm going to 
                         have to give you a zero.  Which means 
                         that you lost to a chimpanzee.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         5.


                                     JACKSON
                         I got beat by a CHIMP on a 
                         standardized test?!?

                                     TEACHER
                         The chimp did at least provide his 
                         name. 

               The teacher shows Jackson the chimp's test.

                                     JACKSON
                              (Angry)
                         This is just covered in poo!

                                     TEACHER
                         Well, what do you expect of Feesis, 
                         the POO THROWER?

                                     JACKSON
                         Oh that DOES it!

               Jackson lunges at the chimp and takes him down. They roll 
               around the floor, as the fight goes off camera.

                                     JACKSON (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         AH! He's doing something wrong in my 
                         eye!

               INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM -- CONTINUOUS

               VAL is still  standing, as MIDUS and JACKSON still sit in 
               their seats.

                                     MIDUS
                         I'm Midus, and this... well, I guess 
                         his name is Valerie, since he's in 
                         your seat.

                                     JACKSON
                         Name's Jackson.  Jackson Kechs.  
                         Remember it for later when you're 
                         screaming it in my bed.

                                     VAL
                         I've got my rape whistle just in 
                         case.

               She pulls out a whistle. 

                                     JACKSON
                         Awesome.

                                     MIDUS
                         Is that really a rape whistle?

                                     VAL
                         Not really.  It's just a regular 
                         whistle.  That I can do this with.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         6.


               She blows the whistle into Jackson's ears, which sends him 
               sprawling, arms flailing as he falls out of Val's chair.  
               She takes her seat.  JACKSON gets up, and dusts himself off 
               awkwardly, before pondering something.

                                     JACKSON
                         Hey, are we done with school?

                                     MIDUS
                         No.

                                     JACKSON
                         Oh God.  That means this ringing's 
                         all in my head.

                                     MIDUS
                         It's like a little man with a triangle 
                         in your mind.

                                     JACKSON
                         I'm not doing geometry.

                                     MIDUS
                         Nevermind.

               MIDUS and VAL catch looks, and Val gives him a slight smile.  
               That's when the bell actually rings and that seems to cure 
               JACKSON of his buzzing.  MR. ANDREWS, the homeroom teacher, 
               enters the room.

                                     MR. ANDREWS
                         Hello everyone.  I'm Mister Andrews, 
                         your homeroom teacher.  I'll be 
                         handling the day to day changes in 
                         the first day of your high school 
                         career.

               He looks off fondly.

                                     MR. ANDREWS (CONT'D)
                         I remember my first day at the big 
                         time.  I mean, how could I have 
                         forgotten.  One minute I was worried 
                         about finding a class and then next 
                         minute I was buttering her breasts 
                         with barbeque and honey sauce as we 
                         sailed down the Egyption Condo, 
                         screaming her name, MISS CHEMISTRY 
                         TEACHER, MISS CHEMISTRY TEACHER!

               The class reacts as they should, a bit weirded out and much 
               silence.  Crickets chirp as a tumbleweed rolls in from off 
               screen and knocks EDDIE SCOTT POSER, dressed in a robe and a 
               burger king crown, up against the wall.

                                     MR. ANDREWS (CONT'D)
                         Let's head to our lockers.
                                     (MORE)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         7.


                                     MR. ANDREWS (CONT'D)
                         Take the slips of paper on your desks 
                         and come with me.  The combination 
                         will be on the back of that index 
                         card.

               The kids begin to walk out of the room.  EDDIE SCOTT POSER 
               is still flailing on the ground.

                                     EDDIE SCOTT POSER
                         SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THE SPIDER!

               Everyone leaves, as a large spider appears from behind the 
               door.  He rubs his 'hands' together, as Poser makes a 
               squeeking sound of fright.

               INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- DAY

               MIDUS is messing around with his locker, unable to get the 
               thing working.  He's growing frustrated by the second.  He 
               smacks his hand against the door, and the one next to him 
               swings open, grabbing his attention.  He looks over and sees.

               EXT. POOL SIDE -- EVENING

               NICOLE LARSON is in a swimsuit now, climbing out of the pool 
               and shaking her hair loose.  She rubs her hands up the small 
               of her back to unzip her suit, as she just stops in mid-zip.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Ride me like a pony.

               INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- DAY

               MIDUS is drifted into his thoughts.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         I coulda swore I've never seen 
                         whatever movie that just came from.

               There's still a long awkward pause of them just looking at 
               one another.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         I said... are you like, Tony?

               Midus shakes his head to clear it.

                                     MIDUS
                         What?  No.  No.  I'm Midus.

               He extends his hand, she takes it.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         I'm Nicole.  That locker's Tony 
                         Davis'.  You're probably on the wrong 
                         side.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         8.


               Midus looks at his card.

                                     MIDUS
                         If only things were that simple.

               Nicole smiles a small bit as MIDUS swings around her to his 
               locker and begins fiddling with the knob.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         So Midus huh?  That's an unusual 
                         name.

                                     MIDUS
                         Yeah, there's a whole story behind 
                         it.

               INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE -- FLASHBACK

               The DOCTOR is delivering MIDUS with MIDUS' MOTHER and MIDUS' 
               FATHER looking on.

                                     DOCTOR
                         Awh Mr and Mrs. Steele, it's a BOY!

               The Doctor inspects the baby.

                                     DOCTOR (CONT'D)
                         And he seems to be wearing a cheap 
                         gold ring.

                                     MIDUS' FATHER
                         So that's where my wedding ring went 
                         to.

               He grabs the ring and puts it on his own hand.

                                     MIDUS' FATHER (CONT'D)
                         Thank you Doctor.  Thank you so much!
                              (to mother)
                         See honey?  I told you I didn't lose 
                         it at the strip club.

               INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- DAY

               MIDUS and NICOLE just stand there, awkward as neither of 
               them really understood the story that MIDUS just told.  MIDUS 
               returns to his locker and begins to fiddle again, before 
               succeeding.

                                     MIDUS
                         Alacazam.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Very nice.

               A MAGICIAN enters the frame.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                         9.


                                     MAGICIAN
                         YOU'VE given away the secret of the 
                         locker!  FOR THIS YOU SHALL PAY!

               The MAGICIAN gains fire behind him as he speaks, and becomes 
               more angry and red as he goes.  Back to reality, as MIDUS 
               hands him a quarter.

                                     MAGICIAN (CONT'D)
                         Awesome.  I'm one fourth of the way 
                         to milk!

               He walks away.

               INT. LUNCHROOM -- DAY

               JACKSON is wandering around the lunchroom after having paid 
               for his food.  Tray in hand, he scans the room, and sees 
               MIDUS, sitting with VAL and dining.  JACKSON walks up to 
               them with tray in hand, and wishes to Sit down but can't.  
               He places his tray on the edge of the table.

                                     JACKSON
                         Yo, what's up with this?

                                     VAL
                         It was an empty seat.  It is a free 
                         country last time I checked.

                                     JACKSON
                         This is why the republicians should 
                         be in power.

               EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP -- FLASHBACK

               An ELDERLY MAN pulls out a sword from brick.

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         I have the power!

               INT. LUNCHROOM -- CONTINUOUS

               MIDUS and VAL stare slackjawed at Jackson.

                                     MIDUS
                         Okay.  I have a list of things that 
                         are wrong with that.  First off, 
                         they are in power, and second off, 
                         you're not republician.

                                     JACKSON
                         First off, ha, see, I can use your 
                         little listing trick too.  Second 
                         off, I am a republician from this 
                         moment on.  And Third off, I can't 
                         believe you people would let Skeletor 
                         take over this country!  You liberal 
                         peace makers make me sick!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        10.


               He walks away.  MIDUS and VAL just converse.

                                     VAL
                         He does realize Skeletor is a 
                         fictional character, right?

                                     MIDUS
                         If anyone would know, it would be 
                         me.  But even I'm not sure anymore.

               JACKSON reenters the picture, chair in hand, and sits at the 
               edge of the table.

                                     JACKSON
                         I just realized that Skeletor is a 
                         fictional character.  Go on.

               A bunch of hall monitors in the background get all angry and 
               go to charge forward, but wind up crashing into one another. 
               No one says anything in response to Jackson's thoughts.

                                     MIDUS
                         Have you seen that Nicole girl?

                                     JACKSON
                         Chick with the huge rack?

                                     MIDUS
                         No.

                                     JACKSON
                         Smaller rack?

                                     MIDUS
                         No.

                                     JACKSON
                         Medium sized rack.

                                     MIDUS
                         Yeah.

                                     JACKSON
                         Oh yeah, she's hot.

                                     VAL
                         You mean Nicole Larson?

                                     MIDUS
                         Yeah.  You hear anything about her?

                                     VAL
                         No.  Well, yes.  I heard that there's 
                         something about her, but I don't 
                         know what that something is.  So I 
                         only have vague third person 
                         information for you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        11.


                                     JACKSON
                         So, I was watching National Geographic 
                         the other day.

               MIDUS brings out a Zippo and starts to try to lit JACKSON on 
               fire by his pants.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         What are you doing.

                                     MIDUS
                         You lied.

                                     JACKSON
                         So?

                                     MIDUS
                         So... I'm lighting your pants on 
                         fire.

                                     JACKSON
                         That's not a literal phrase...

               JACKSON gets up and starts to try put out his pants.  He 
               begins to roll on the ground.

                                     MIDUS
                         It should be.  This is hilarious.

                                     VAL
                         Shouldn't you be helping him?

                                     MIDUS
                         And miss out on freshly roasted 
                         marshmellows?  Where are your 
                         priorities?

               INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- LATER

               MIDUS and JACKSON are walking down the hallways as VAL has 
               left.  JACKSON begins to mumble under his breath.

                                     JACKSON
                         Damn commie pinko liberal evil Satan 
                         spawn-

               INT. SCIENCE LAB -- CONTINUOUS

               They enter, and VAL is there. 

                                     JACKSON
                         BITCH WHORE MONGER!

                                     MIDUS
                         Dude!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        12.


               The bell rings and JACKSON and MIDUS take their seats.  
               PROFESSOR INATION gains attention at the head of the 
               classroom.

                                     PROFESSOR INATION
                         Hello class, welcome to Science.  
                         Our curriculm this semester will be 
                         the combining of physics and chemistry 
                         for a broad overview.  You'll be 
                         working in groups for a few projects 
                         throughout the semester, one of which 
                         will be due next week.  I'll be 
                         splitting you into groups of four 
                         with sub groups of two inside.

               A hard cut reveals the four, MIDUS, VAL, JACKSON, and NICOLE 
               all together in a group.

                                     VAL
                         So, which one of us is God punishing 
                         by placing us together?

               EXT. HEAVEN -- FLASHBACK

               GODD is sitting at his desk, with a nameplate displaying the 
               name "GODD@GOODRULES.COM." GODD is going through papers and 
               is checking them.

                                     GODD
                         Take MY name in vain will you!

               He crosses their names off the list.  Then an ANGEL walks 
               in.

                                     ANGEL
                         Godd!  That's the wrong list.  That's 
                         the good people.  They shouldn't be 
                         getting coal!

                                     GODD
                         Are you saying that GODD is wrong!?  
                         That the G-O-Double D is wrong?  
                         Well he's not.  He's never wrong.  
                         He's infailable... He's also not 
                         Santa Claus.

               GODD points at the ANGEL, who erupts in flames.  SAVIL walks 
               in, eating an apple.  SAVIL has a lisp.

                                     SAVIL
                         And I'm the evil one.

               INT. SCIENCE LAB -- CONTINUOUS

               Same Setting as before.

                                     MIDUS
                         Why are people constantly burning?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        13.


               VAL, NICOLE, and JACKSON simply give MIDUS a look of 
               disbelief.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         So hi, I'm Nicole.

                                     VAL
                         Val.

               VAL and NICOLE shake hands.

                                     JACKSON
                         Medium cup!  I'm Jackson!

               He shakes her hand, she gives him a look of "huh."

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Hi Midus.

               MIDUS is stunned. 

                                     MIDUS
                         You remembered my name.

                                     PROFESSOR INATION
                         So class, what did you learn about 
                         each other?  Let's go around the 
                         room and say one thing about your 
                         group mates.

               He walks over to the group.

                                     PROFESSOR INATION (CONT'D)
                              (mumbles)
                         Revolving door of miscreants.  Name 
                         tags would be great...
                              (aloud)
                         So!

               He looks at his notes.

                                     PROFESSOR INATION (CONT'D)
                         Jackson... let's start with you.  
                         What did you learn about your group 
                         mates?

                                     JACKSON
                         Two of em have breasts?

                                     PROFESSOR INATION
                         You are... technically correct.

                                     JACKSON
                         Although three of them have pus-

                                                                    CUT TO:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        14.


               EXT. SCHOOL -- LATER

               MIDUS and NICOLE are walking, while VAL is handing JACKSON a 
               slip of paper.  VAL leaves in the background as JACKSON walks 
               behind MIDUS and NICOLE, listening to their conversation.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Do you want to get started on the 
                         Chemistry project tonight?

                                     MIDUS
                         I'm not really a do work now kinda 
                         person.  I'm more of a putting it 
                         off as long as humanly possible and 
                         scrambling at the last moment to 
                         complete kinda person.  It dates 
                         back to my great great great tons 
                         more great grandfather C. 
                         Procrastinator Steele.
                              (looks off fondly)
                         He was great.

               INT. CONNETICUIT -- FLASHBACK

               NEWSPAPER, April 15th, 1775.  A CHILD is playing with a rifle 
               up in an attic, while C. PROCRASTINATOR STEELE lifts the 
               paper off the table and begins to read it.

                                     WIFE (O.S.)
                         Honey.  Can you make sure Junior is 
                         safe?

                                     C. PROCRASTINATOR STEELE
                         I'll get right on it.

               He's still reading the paper, when a single shot is fired, 
               loud, and a few thousand muffled shots fire out afterwards.  
               C. STEELE's eyes go wide in horror.

               EXT. SCHOOL -- CONTINUOUS

               MIDUS shrugs his shoulders.

                                     MIDUS
                         See ya at 8?

               NICOLE smiles and leaves.  JACKSON walks up.

                                     JACKSON
                         Dude, tap that ass like some sort of 
                         tapper.

               INT. STAGE SETTING -- FLASHBACK

               Some guy is on stage with a spotlight in a low lit comedy 
               club.  He's tapping his thumbs all over his body to make 
               music.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        15.


               EXT. SCHOOL -- CONTINUOUS

               MIDUS groands.

                                     MIDUS
                         You know, all I hear when you talk 
                         is static.

               JACKSON pulls out a large sign that says "You're a Douche."

                                     MIDUS (CONT'D)
                         Sticks and stones may break my bones 
                         but words will never hurt me.

               JACKSON shrugs and starts beating MIDUS with the sign.

                                     MIDUS (CONT'D)
                         AH!  The words are hurting me!  All 
                         I was taught is a lie!

               INT. MIDUS' HOUSE -- EVENING

               MIDUS is nervous.  It's about 7:30 and he's wearing a light 
               jacket.  He's pacing...

                                     MIDUS
                         Boy, I really wished I'd smoke so I 
                         could have something to take off the 
                         pressure...
                              (pause)
                         I wonder if my mom has any more 
                         scotch.
                              (laughs)
                         Probably not after LAST Christmas.

               INT. MIDUS' HOME -- FLASHBACK

               A year earlier, MIDUS has a bottle of scotch and JACKSON is 
               playing with a Zippo.  The scotch flies onto JACKSON which 
               lights him on fire.

                                     MIDUS
                         I'll get the marshmellows!

               JACKSON is rolling around the floor howling in pain as MIDUS 
               simply steps over him.

               INT. VAL'S HOME -- EVENING

               JACKSON and VAL are sitting at a table, arguing.

                                     JACKSON
                         Do you trust me Val?

                                     VAL
                         Of course I don't.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        16.


                                     JACKSON
                         Well, then why are you TRUSTING ME 
                         with work?  Honestly, you should 
                         just do this entire thing yourself.  
                         My last name is spelled K-E-C

                                     VAL
                         Jackson, we just have to think this 
                         through.

                                     JACKSON
                         I'm already done with my part Val.  
                         I gave it to you.  Man... you're 
                         such a slow poke.

                                     VAL
                         No.

                                     JACKSON
                         Why can't I do what the weasels do!

                                     VAL
                         And weasel outta things?

                                     JACKSON
                         Hey.  That's good.  I was gonna say 
                         pee in a tree, but no, that's way 
                         better.

               INT. NICOLE'S HOME -- EVENING

               MIDUS is sitting on a couch as we hear the opening to a dvd. 
               NICOLE sits down, showing the movie Tommy Boy, which MIDUS 
               nods to in approval.

                                     MIDUS
                         So... What is Chemistry?

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         I'm not sure. It involves atoms I 
                         think.

                                     MIDUS
                         That's nuclear physics.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         What's Nuclear Physics.

                                     MIDUS
                         I dunno, but it involves atoms.

               Nicole smiles a bit, as MIDUS shifts in his seat 
               uncomfortably.

                                     MIDUS (CONT'D)
                         Maybe we should get a dictionary.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        17.


                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Or a chemist.

               INT. VAL'S HOME -- LATER

               VAL and JACKSON are having a heated conversation.

                                     VAL
                         No Jackson! Think outside the box!

                                     JACKSON
                              (Angry and Confused)
                         What does that even MEAN!

               INT. OFFICE MEETING ROOM -- FLASHBACK

               JACKSON, now older, sits in his office desk, along with other 
               business men around him.

                                     BUSINESS MAN #1
                         You gotta think outside the box!

                                     JACKSON
                         Okay.

               JACKSON walks off screen to the confusion of the business 
               men. He returns with a large large cardboard box, places it 
               down on top of himself.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                              (slightly muffled)
                         Now I'm in a bleeding box! Happy? 
                         Now I'm going to think OUTSIDE the 
                         box.

               The box jumps a little bit off the ground from Jackson trying 
               to break through the top. There's a thud as well then shortly 
               after, before the box rocks onto it's top side, causing the 
               original opening to be blocked.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         Uhhhhh... need a lamp here.

               INT. VAL'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS

               JACKSON and VAL like before.

                                     JACKSON
                         I don't know why I suddenly became 
                         british there.

               They both think long and hard "why."

               INT. NICOLE'S HOME -- LATER

               MIDUS and NICOLE are much later. A pizza was ordered and 
               eaten. They're both enjoying the movie in a comfortable 
               silence.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        18.


               Until it gets so comfortable that it becomes awkward. Both 
               have twitchy eyes and MIDUS noticably is sweating a small 
               bit.

               INT. OFFICE ROOM -- MOVIE

               The view is of the Movie, where a MOBSTER is standing behind 
               a desk angry.

                                     MOBSTER
                         I want his family DEAD. I want his 
                         business associations DEAD. I want 
                         his friends, DEAD. I want his gardener
                              (long pause)
                         Doing the bushes out in the front of 
                         my home. I want his neighbors, DEAD!

               INT. NICOLE'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS

               MIDUS and NICOLE.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         I don't remember this part of the 
                         movie.

               He sheeply smiles towards Nicole.

               INT. VAL'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS

               JACKSON is laying on a couch, obviously not working. VAL is 
               sitting, tapping her pencil against her notes.

                                     JACKSON
                         Hey, remember that time I went back 
                         in time?

                                     VAL
                         No. Mostly because that's impossible.
                              (pause)
                         But also because I just met you today.

                                     JACKSON
                         Oh
                              (pause)
                         Right.

               There's another awkward silence.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         Remember when I shot Kennedy?

               EXT. MTV SET -- FLASHBACK

               KENNEDY, the MTV VJ, is looking through her notes. That's 
               when the door opens behind her dramatically.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        19.


                                     JACKSON
                              (Angry and angrier)
                         Kennedy.... WE MEET AGAIN!

               He flinches for a cheap shot but we don't see it.

               INT. VAL'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS

               VAL and JACKSON. VAL sighs.

                                     VAL
                         Someone kill me now.

               DR. KEVORKIAN appears.

                                     DR. KEVORKIAN
                         It would be my pleasure!

                                     JACKSON
                              (childish "question")
                         Doctor Kevorkian! Where did you come 
                         from!

                                     DR. KEVORKIAN
                         I am death's fatal handshake. The 
                         black cloak of doom. The shadow of 
                         destruction. I am absolute. I am 
                         everywhere. I am everything...

               Pause.

                                     DR. KEVORKIAN (CONT'D)
                         And your door was open.

               JACKSON stands up holding a picture of the Golden Girls.

                                     JACKSON
                         Euthanize THIS!

                                     DR. KEVORKIAN
                         Believe me. I've tried.

               He notices something on the table which takes his look away 
               from JACKSON and VAL. He looks at them and back toward the 
               table three times before being so filled with joy when he 
               speaks.

                                     DR. KEVORKIAN (CONT'D)
                         Is... that dip?

               He reaches his fingers in and eats some.

                                     JACKSON
                         I sure hope it was dip.

                                     VAL
                         Don't you need a chip?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        20.


                                     DR. KEVORKIAN
                         And dimish the taste of fantastic 
                         salsa?

               He scoffs, and walks away. JACKSON then turns to VAL.

                                     JACKSON
                         I like monkeys!

               VAL groans, slamming her school book shut as she walks away.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         No, seriously. I really do like 
                         monkeys.
                              (Trying to prove)
                         Here, I drew one here while I was 
                         busy pretending to do actual work.

               JACKSON holds a picture of OPTIMUS PRIME.

                                     VAL (O.S.)
                         That's NOT a monkey.

                                     JACKSON
                              (defending)
                         He can turn into one!

               INT. NICOLE'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS

               MIDUS and NICOLE are watching the movie a bit closer now. 
               There's a bit of awkwardness still, as MIDUS and NICOLE both 
               reach for a chip. Their hands meet for a split second before 
               they both pull back.

                                     MIDUS
                         Sorry.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         My fault.

               NICOLE picks up a chip, and MIDUS follows her lead.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         Man... She's.... Man. She's beautiful, 
                         and, a-and she's really here. You're 
                         watching a movie together... what 
                         you're supposed to quote and unquote 
                         watch while dating... And you're 
                         within an arm of her.  So what do 
                         you have to lose.

               He sighs.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         Besides Pride of course, my fragile 
                         ego, my frail sanity, and possibly 
                         an arm if she really took offense.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        21.


               We see NICOLE still sitting, as a thought bubble of what 
               would happen appears above her, describing NICOLE pulling 
               off MIDUS' arm.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         Then I'd be Midus ONEARM Steele, 
                         waving around my hands like I just 
                         don't care. But wait a second. I 
                         won't be able to wave my hands. I'll 
                         only be able to wave around my hand! 
                         And THAT'S not cool. But if my hand 
                         WAS ripped off, I could qualify for 
                         the special olympics. And I'm ten 
                         times faster than any other 
                         parapalegic out there!

               NICOLE turns toward MIDUS.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         What are you thinking about?

                                     MIDUS
                              (Trying to think)
                         Uhmmmm... You really want to know?

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         I asked.

               MIDUS stammers. He thinks. A couple of options appear FAMILY 
               FEUD style next to him. "What do men say they're thinking 
               about?" The answers are revealed as they are said.

                                     NARRATOR
                         Okay, answer number four... YOU! 
                         Answer number three... the stars! 
                         Answer number two... the MOVIE! and 
                         the number one answer for America?

               A delay, and then a ding.

                                     NARRATOR (CONT'D)
                         FAMILY FEUD!

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Midus? Are you still there?

                                     MIDUS
                         Louie Anderson.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         You're thinking about the guy that 
                         hosted Family Feuds.

                                     MIDUS
                         No no no. The fat guy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        22.


               INT. VAL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

               JACKSON is balancing a bunch of plates all over his body. 
               He's also on one leg, very much like a Dr. Suess book.

                                     JACKSON
                         See! I told you I could balance your 
                         Family's entire China set.

                                     VAL
                         I never said you couldn't, I said 
                         you shouldn't!

                                     JACKSON
                         Oh, this makes my proving you wrong 
                         slightly less meaningful.

               And that's when he collapses, breaking everything.

                                     VAL
                         Who didn't see that coming?

               Jackson raises his hand from the wreckage.

               INT. NICOLE'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

               MIDUS and NICOLE are working on the project together.

                                     NICOLE
                         So, what other bands do you listen 
                         to besides the Stripes?

                                     MIDUS
                         You know, basics. Radiohead, Phantom 
                         Planet, Alkaline Trio. And the not 
                         so basics. Postal Service, Mars Volta, 
                         the Pixies.

                                     NICOLE
                         Those are basics?

               INT. VAL'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

               VAL is just staring JACKSON down. Jackson sits there, looking 
               at his paper, and then turns to Val, whom he noticed staring 
               at him.

                                     JACKSON
                         What?

                                     VAL
                         Nothing. I'm just expecting SOMETHING 
                         to happen.

                                     JACKSON
                         What? Are you expecting me to screw 
                         up again? Cuz I'm not the stupid 
                         klutz like all seem to believe I am.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        23.


               Jackson puts his foot up on the table, but it's glass, so 
               his feet smash right through it.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         I'm gone.

               Jackson picks up his feet and books and leaves asap.

               INT. NICOLE'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

               The movie is coming to a close, and NICOLE is watching 
               intently, but MIDUS is staring at Nicole out of the corner 
               of his eye, his head resting on his arm that's perched on an 
               arm rest. Nicole notices, and Midus fumbles.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         What were you doing?

               Midus sighs.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         This is everything Iíve ever wanted. 
                         My entire life, every time I saw the 
                         first star in the evening sky, I 
                         wished for this moment to come. What 
                         do I have to lose?

               There's a slight pause.

                                     MIDUS (CONT'D)
                         Nothing.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         Nothing?

                                     MIDUS
                              (dejected)
                         Nothing.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         I'm gonna go get some wedding cake.

               She walks away. MIDUS is a bit disheartened. 

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         How am I supposed to find the one 
                         you're supposed to be with if you 
                         never try...

               INT. SCIENCE LAB -- LATER

               MIDUS and NICOLE are presenting.

                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         So that's the story of my first day 
                         of high school.
                                     (MORE)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        24.


                                     MIDUS (V.O.) (CONT'D)
                         If this is the last time you ever 
                         see me, I should probably tell you 
                         where the story ends.

               INT. OVAL OFFICE -- DAY

               STYLISTIC SHOT : These are are done quick quick to barely 
               catch glimpses of each shot. 

               The President is being held at gun point by SARAH JONES. She 
               shoots. VAL dives and saves him, but is shot.

               EXT. ROLLAR COASTER -- AFTERNOON

               JACKSON is riding a rollar coaster. Once it begins to descend, 
               JACKSON flies out of the ride and to the ground.

               EXT. BASEBALL FIELD -- AFTERNOON

               MIDUS is sitting in the stands when a player swings and the 
               bat goes flying and knocks him upside the face.

               INT. BIRD HOUSE ZOO -- EVENING

               NICOLE is standing inside the bird house, as the birds begin 
               to fly towards the glass like in the movie BIRDS.

                                     NICOLE LARSON
                         You know it's bullet proof!

               INT. OFFICE MEETING ROOM -- EVENING

               VAL is an executive, shaking hands with someone in the 
               foreground before in the background, JACKSON walks by in a 
               bathing suit holding a margerita. This is all done during a 
               press conferance. He waves.

               INT. MOUNTAIN TOP -- EVENING

               MIDUS has reached the top of the mountain. The ELDERLY MAN 
               still sits there.

                                     MIDUS
                         You're still here?

                                     ELDERLY MAN
                         I can't get down...

               He lowers his head in shame.

               INT. SCIENCE LAB -- CONTINUOUS

               Back to normal speed, as VAL and JACKSON do their 
               presentations.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                        25.


                                     MIDUS (V.O.)
                         Or, you know, what could happen.
                              (pause)
                         It probably won't though.

                                     END OF ACT 

               OVER END CREDITS

               JACKSON appears in a circle as if he were apart of the Looney 
               Tunes. 

                                     JACKSON
                         B-B-B-B-That's all folks!

               The circle around him expands slightly and contracts, before 
               warping itself around Jackson's neck.

                                     JACKSON (CONT'D)
                         AH! It's choking me! Get it off. GET 
                         IT OFF!